Anticipated Wait

It's Advent.

A season of waiting.

 

A season of knowing what is to come.

A season of renewal, hope, love, faith, joy.

For me, it's a season of reflection, almost always.

I love Christmas. It's always been one of my favorite holidays. This year, my joy for the season isn't any different, I'm simply looking at it a bit differently. 

These past few months have been a bit rough. I've been unsure of where I am in Life and where I want to Go. But recently, I realized that if I want to achieve certain things, which I do, I have to start acting on them. I can no longer simply keep them on a list of wanting to do things. Whether they be places to go and see, people to meet, jobs to have, experiences to partake in; I have to make a conscious step to do them.

That is what this season of waiting is looking like. Rather than just sitting and waiting, I'm actively waiting. Slowly these past few months, I have started working towards my goals. Some that have been reawakened by my time at home. Some that are more recent. Some that I only whisper in the dead of night to the One up High in hopes that maybe I can dream of it tonight.

These dreams are precious to me. They're scary as I can see them taking shape.

Will I fail? Will I prosper? Will anyone notice? Will that be okay? Will this even work? 

Are some of the questions that swirl around inside. And then I remember one thing, especially in this season:

Joseph and Mary knew only part of the great Story that they were apart of. They knew that their Son was to be named Jesus, Immanuel, God with us, the One who has come to take the people's sins. The one who was to Come and Die so that We can have Eternal Life. All of this took place because of a prophet.They knew some of what would happen with their Son but they didn't know all the details.

Which make me realize just how much of a Good, Good Father our Father in Heaven truly is. Sometimes we know bits of what is going to happen. You get this job in an amazing city but you know no one. You get a chance of a life time to see a new place but you have no idea how much you will love it. You get to meet a new person today but you have no idea that they will end up being your life long friend.

Sometimes it's the small things that we don't know and others it's the larger, scarier things like what to do with our lives that seem so far in the dark.

But one thing is for sure, as I anticipate the wait of my Savior to celebrate later this month, I anticipate just all that the coming year will hold. All the promises I know that will come true soon. All the new opportunities that are coming my way. All the new adventures. I'm excited, nervous, scared, but hopeful over it all.